The following was mostly written 9 years ago just after the release of "The Phantom Menace"

9 years ago.......(yep, 9 years ago).........I was talking to my wife about how in Star Wars movies (Original Trilogy) no one ever seems to sleep. (Not sure how interested she was, but she acted that way at the time, which is one of the reasons why I love her so much....but anyway) Star Wars movies no ever seems to sleep, except in Jabba's Palace and when Yoda laid down for a long nap, there are never any scenes of people sleeping.........

............and this got me to thinking...........(A dangerous pastime, I know)........

......and I thought of LUKE'S NEVER ENDING DAY....................

So you think you have a lot to do in a day. Well consider the day of Luke Skywalker..........

It started off bad enough. The night before his brand new droid, R2-D2, runs away from home. It was too late to go after him because of all the "sand-people". So he a his other new droid C-3PO have to wait until morning. Boy that little droid is going to cause him a lot of trouble (Oh, he excels at that!) So the day begins and he goes out early to find his little droid. (He had better get back by mid-day or there'll be hell to pay.) When they find R2 they realize there are Sandpeople present. Luke shortly there-after gets hit over the head and left for dead as Sandpeople raid his landspeeder.
All of sudden this old guy in a robe (Obi-Wan.......or Ben....... I mean...he hasn't been called Obi-Wan in a long time........a long time) shows up, saves them, and they all (Luke, Ben, Two Droids) go back to Ben's house. Luke finds out about the force and that his dad was a Jedi Knight and killed by Darth Vader (a pupil of Ben's until he turned to evil.) He plays with a lightsaber and gets asked by Ben to join him on a trip to Alderaan.

Question............Has he had breakfast yet????

O.K.......Let's get back to the day. From here they decide to take Ben to where he needs to go and on the way they run into a bunch of burnt and beaten Jawa's (not killed by sandpeople mind you, the blast points are too accurate for them) NO, These were Imperial Stormtroopers!! (the tracks were side by side. Sandpeople always walk in single file........Silly Troopers)

Where was I?????

Oh yes, Luke figures the troopers will go after his aunt and uncle so he hops in the landspeeder and gets home quick. He sees they are killed so he decides to be a Jedi (Why not.....nothing else to do.) They go to Mos Eisley Space Port (You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy...I sure hope they are cautious) and Luke almost gets killed by a big ugly monster (so much for being cautious......thank goodness for lightsabers.) And They meet a couple of new friends
(Luke has made three new friends today already, How many have you made?)


They almost get shot by troopers (accuracy what??) and then almost get blown out of the sky by a Star Destroyer (not the local bulk cruisers mind you)
Luckily they go to light speed.........

When is it time for breakfast???????

...........Back to the day.....Luke begins to learn how to use the force and fight with a lightsaber, finds out a planet has been destroyed, and gets sucked into the belly of a really large killing machine. He hides in a smuggling compartment (Han never thought he'd be smuggling himself) kills a couple of guards and hides in a communication tower. Here is where he says goodbye to Ben (what have they known each other now for???? About 3 hours???? Talk about your short relationships)

He and his two other new friends decide to rescue a princess, sneak into the prison, get shot at again, first by prison guards, then by Stormtroopers (Question, where is this Famed "Trooper Accuracy" anyway?? They haven't hit anything yet.)

He frees the princess (A New Friend!!!!! That's 4 now!!!!) and gets thrown down a trash pit, sucked under water by a big snake-like-thing, and then almost gets crushed by a trash compactor.

That's about what...... 7 brushes with death now?!?!?! and forget breakfast now, it's about time for lunch???

How long ago exactly did he leave his house to get R2???

Back to the day

They escape getting crushed, promptly run into a garrison of troopers, get shot at (Troopers miss again) left on the edge of an unfinished bridge, shot at again (miss, miss, miss, miss) fly across the bottomless pit on a piece of string, and escape to the ship.

Here he sees his new friend Ben get hacked down (hey, isn't that who killed my dad???) Gets shot at again by troopers (maybe try aiming at the target), escapes into the Falcon, has to blow up Tie Fighters while learning how to use the belly gun of the Millennium Falcon, and escapes into hyper-space once again......

4 new friends (3 alive, 1 dead) like a dozen near death experiences, Jedi training, find out who your father was, see you aunt and uncle burned, sell you car, etc. etc. etc. and can someone get this guy a sandwich???????

Cut to the chase.....

.............Arrive on a planet that is going to be destroyed by a big ball, meet lots of new friends, say goodbye to 2 of his new friends, and take off in another space ship to battle The Empire. almost blown up 3 or 4 times during space battle, watch droid that got him into this whole mess get shot, welcome back friend you thought had left but didn't (Woohooo) hear another of your friends in your head (use the Force Luke.....let go Luke) and blow up an evil space station that was going to blow up a bunch of planets and enslave the universe..............

Luke has saved the galaxy from evil......................

Ummmmm, question...........correct me if I'm wrong, but........

HASN'T ALL OF THIS HAPPENED IN THE SAME DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He hasn't one has slept................It's the same day he left to go find R2-D2!!!!!!!

You know, there are days I get up an wonder "What will I do today???" Looking back on The Day of Luke Skywalker, I think, forget that stupid medal ceremony..........

........Get that guy a T.V Dinner and a pillow!!!!!!!!!!!!!


1 Comment:

  1. JB said...
    I think it may be analogous to what James "Scotty" Doohan said about how you never saw bathrooms on the starship Enterprise. He said, "that's what phasers are for!"

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